I’ll be on Good Day Columbus, Monday morning (August 21) giving parenting tips to help families as they return to school.
Below are 3 “simple” tips that will make a BIG impact. I’ll be discussing them in more detail on the show.
1. Responsibility Can Only Be Learned by Practice
All parents want to raise competent, responsible independent children, but if they try to ENSURE their children’s success, often they raise unsuccessful kids.
WHY? Responsibility can’t be taught… it must be caught! We have to fight against seeing their failures as our failures…. Hard to witness mistakes and their struggles, but natural consequences are significant learning opportunities… “I am sure you will remember on your own but if you don’t, you will learn from the experience.
Let them make choices, respect their struggle, don’t ask too many questions, don’t answer too quickly, use outside resources and don’t take hope away.
2. Parent With Love and Logic – Act NOT React
Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with, they just need them acknowledged.
ALL OF US …need to in a moment of distress is not someone to NOT to agree or disagree… WE need someone to recognize what we are experiencing.
Taking on our child’s emotions is very ineffective, we need to logically ask questions like “What do you think?”
Keeping our reactions to their mistakes or inappropriate behavior will allow crucial learning to take place.
Our goal for our kids is like a three-legged stool: All of them need to be strong, our messages to them are so important:
1: You are loved
2: You have the skills you need to make it.
3: You are capable!
Remember Labeling is Disabling… we don’t want to categorize them!
3. Discipline Educates Children, Punishment Does Not
Discipline is programmed to help kids develop internal self-control, self-direction, and efficiency.
It requires mutual respect and trust.
Punishment requires external control over a person by force or coercion.
Punishing usually diminishes respect and trust to the one punished.
Parenting is a tough job that requires you to be grown up!