TURNING THE PAGE ON 2020

TURNING THE PAGE ON 2020

The time to celebrate the end of a very challenging year is RIGHT NOW! Everyone has been through so much and the one thing we hopefully can look forward to very soon is being able to reconnect with our friends and family thanks to the brilliant scientists who have invented a vaccine for all of us! It has been quite a roller coaster ride this year with emotions and events that take us up summits and on dives, complete with loops and curves, hand-gripping moments, and finally a little bit of relief! Many of us carry a great deal of anxiety that we usually cover up and distract ourselves from, through work, relationships, going to a restaurant, watching television, exercising.  Some of these are good things to do, but they can also function as a way of diverting our anxieties. There were fewer

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS and HOW TO APPLY EFFECTIVE COPING SKILLS Suppressing feelings takes an emotional toll and when letting them out may not be a good option, there might be healthier ways to cope.  Making sure you remain your authentic self is the first step by setting appropriate boundaries by asking yourself; “What is okay, and what isn’t okay that works for me?” HOW TO COPE: Name Your Emotions:  So many times, we do not know exactly how we are feeling and what is rarely acknowledged is that courage and fear and not mutually exclusive. Most of us feel brave and afraid all day long at the exact same time. When you have a strong emotional reaction to something try and identify what the trigger is and reflect on what is causing the problem instead of unleashing on another person. Be Honest with

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HAPPINESS = REALITY minus EXPECTATIONS

HAPPINESS = REALITY minus EXPECTATIONS

In response to the rapidly changing and uncertain times, I want to continue to offer you content that is useful, applicable and appropriate to what we’re all going through right now. I would like to provide useful information to help see you through this difficult time and empower you to nurture connection within yourself, and with friends, family, colleagues, and the greater world, even as we remain physically isolated. The recent health events have shaken many of our personal foundations because the greater social structure on which we depend upon is no longer safely in place. We are certainly living in uncertain times and we can’t do what humans love to do and that is to predict. When we feel we can predict, we feel more in control. Here is a great visual example that will remind us of the fact we ALL

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The 3 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Have in Common

The 3 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Have in Common

Emotionally Intelligent People Have 3 Things in Common. They are:     1. Happier 2. Healthier 3. More Successful This subject of Emotional Intelligence was brought to light in the 1990s when studies began showing people with average IQs were outperforming those with higher IQs. What exactly is Emotional Intelligence? A person’s ability to label, control, express and handle their emotions while recognizing and coping with the emotions of others.  The ability to use both the rational and emotional parts of their brain to make logical decisions. A person’s ability to understand that their emotions are valid and rationalize their feelings. While IQ (Intelligence Quotient) measures someone’s ability to learn, EQ (Emotional Quotient) measures someone’s ability to recognize emotion, understand it and deal with it. IQ and EQ are not related, so a person’s intelligence does not determine their level of emotional intelligence.

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A New Frame of Mind

A New Frame of Mind

What are Your Positive Triggers? We all have had circumstances in our lives that ignite a particular feeling or memory. Some are negative but there also are positive triggers. Trying to understand this about ourselves is confusing! When we begin to pay attention to these triggers by shifting our perspective and reframing our life experiences it provides us with an opportunity to become more aware and in tune with ourselves allowing more positive triggers to occur. How do we know what they are? I like to begin by noticing how I am feeling, we have to remember as human beings we are feeling people that think, not the other way around!  Getting in touch will all five of your senses is a great way to start, especially by being in nature. Seeing a butterfly, smelling an orange blossom tree, tasting the salt from

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How Are You Going to Discover Your True Self?

How Are You Going to Discover Your True Self?

What Smothers Your True Self?  7 Stumbling Blocks Are you like a fake diamond you get out of a bubble gum machine or are you like the Hope Diamond in the Smithsonian Museum? Contemplate the 7 stumbling blocks below by reflecting back on a time these have happened to you and what you would do differently right now! Fear:  We are scared of being hurt, ridiculed and not accepted, so we conform and smother our true self. It is easier to be what people WANT us to be. Doubt: When dreaming about success in one form or another you talk yourself out of it, you don’t attempt to make it a reality. You doubt your ability to succeed. Conformity Is Easier: It is hard to be different and stick out in a crowd because of the judgment and rejection of others. We want

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Tips for Empty Nesters

Tips for Empty Nesters

1. Change is Inevitable. Attitude is Everything! One thing we all know for sure is everything is constantly changing and being uncertain about the future may stir up feelings of anxiety. As our children leave the nest it is our responsibility to learn to access our natural generative energy. Stagnation, despair, boredom, loneliness or indifference leave us feeling lifeless. On the other hand; trying something new, being open and flexible, becoming involved in the life of community allows us to cultivate a more positive attitude as we grow older. Later in life the ego can no longer drive our experience. In his book Shadow Dance, David Richo creates an acronym for the ego’s FACE: F- fear; A-attachment; C- control; E- entitlement.  True wisdom comes when we shift our allegiances from fear to curiosity, from attachment to letting go, from control to trust, and

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Have You Built Walls Around Your Heart?

Have You Built Walls Around Your Heart?

Everyone has a heart that needs to be tended to. Have you built walls around yours? I wanted to share with you just a few precious presents that I have received from friends and loved ones that have involve hearts. Many know how much I love and collect hearts, I guess because I relate them to people.  Some are smooth, some have texture, others are big, some are small. I  love all the different variations of this beautiful shape. We ALL have a heart and honoring everyone’s differences and experiences allows us to see the beauty we all have inside. I am filled with gratitude and love and will always hold these treasures and the meaning behind them forever in my heart.  As Valentine’s Day approaches; it is a difficult holiday for many people. During this time reaching out to others is something

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A Wish For All of You. Let Go in 2019

A Wish For All of You. Let Go in 2019

Letting go is one of the most powerful self-care things you can do for youreself. The REAL definition of self-care is pausing and paying attention to yourself!  It is about working to craft a good daily life. Self-care can be varied, inconsistent and dependent on your current circumstances; but when you slow down, pay attention and ask yourself some questions and listen to the answers self-care CAN become a consistent regular practice.  Here is a suggestion: Make a list of things that make you feel most human. Is it art? Crafting? Reading? Exercising? Meditating? Praying? Cooking?  It doesn’t matter what it is, asl long as it feeds your soul. Schedule THESE into your life for 2019. Hold yourself accountable. Give yourself the opportunity to listen! Sometimes I pause, check in with myself, and realize the thing I need right now is to relieve

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What is Gaslighting? Could it be happening to you?

What is Gaslighting? Could it be happening to you?

These days you can hardly go more than a day or two without hearing the word “gaslighting.”  This term is defined as a type of emotional manipulation in which a “gaslighter” tries to convince you that you’re misremembering, misunderstanding, or misinterpreting your own behavior or motivations, which create doubt in your mind leaving you vulnerable and confused. The term came from the play called “Gas Light” and the film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944 which depicts this type of abuse as occurring to the wife of an abuser.  The important thing to learn is it always takes place between two people; the gaslighter, who creates confusion and doubt, and a gaslightee, who is willing to doubt their own perceptions in order to keep the relationship going. Dr. Robin Stern; Associate Director for the Yale Center of Emotional Intelligence, surprisingly discovered the Gaslight Effect while she facilitated

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