What is Gaslighting? Could it be happening to you?

What is Gaslighting? Could it be happening to you?

These days you can hardly go more than a day or two without hearing the word “gaslighting.”  This term is defined as a type of emotional manipulation in which a “gaslighter” tries to convince you that you’re misremembering, misunderstanding, or misinterpreting your own behavior or motivations, which create doubt in your mind leaving you vulnerable and confused. The term came from the play called “Gas Light” and the film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944 which depicts this type of abuse as occurring to the wife of an abuser.  The important thing to learn is it always takes place between two people; the gaslighter, who creates confusion and doubt, and a gaslightee, who is willing to doubt their own perceptions in order to keep the relationship going. Dr. Robin Stern; Associate Director for the Yale Center of Emotional Intelligence, surprisingly discovered the Gaslight Effect while she facilitated

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Getting to Know You…

Getting to Know You…

I know I am dating myself but..  Do you remember the song “Getting to Know You,” from the musical ‘The King and I’? I have always loved that song. Just recently, after singing the lyrics I had an “Ah Ha” moment. I wondered, “What if we listened to the song in a different way?  What if we were able to sing this to ourselves and stop our inner critic from taking over our thoughts and attitude towards life?” There is a quote from a book I recently read that states: What you can’t be with, won’t let you be.” We need to learn how to give ALL of who we are, permission to exist. Even parts of ourselves we don’t like. When we are able to see the dark and the light side of our personalities it allows us to become less defensive and it

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5 Ways to Spring into Action With Choices, Chances and Changes

5 Ways to Spring into Action With Choices, Chances and Changes

Almost EVERY ONE of us has been given the choice to make a change, BUT… if we Chose the status quo, our life has little Chance to Change. Of course, our lives can be overwhelming at times; so before you get too stressed out here are a few tips that will help you and your family have a productive summer! Start each day with one single goal in mind… PEACE OF MIND. Peace of mind means FREEDOM from ANGER, GUILT, and  FEAR! Here is a question you can ask yourself, “What am I able to do today to nourish my mind, body, and spirit?”  You may take a walk, make a phone call, go to the gym. It may be uncomfortable but try it anyway! 1. Eliminate BLAMING others….this will give you peace of mind by giving you control over your life which is what everyone

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Does Hope Really Float?

Does Hope Really Float?

Do you remember watching the movie, Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr.? It’s about a woman who found out her husband was cheating on her so she decides to go back home with her young daughter to try and figure out her life. I fell in love with this romantic drama even though the reviews weren’t very positive, but what I find interesting is that the soundtrack and the quotes from this movie still resonate with people. While reading an article recently I came across my favorite quote which is, “Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most.” Try to remember this when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up.”  I kept thinking about how all of us go through pain and it sure is

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My #Metoo Story

My #Metoo Story

It was May 1975; I was a sophomore in high school and had starting dating a boy for about fourth months that was a few years older than me so I guess you could say we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.  He had asked me to go to a family get together with him on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I will never forget the outfit I wore that day, it was a beautiful new crème colored pant suit I had just bought at the mall. It was unusual I was able to do something on a Sunday because being raised in a very conservative Catholic family all of us usually stayed home.  The day felt special to me because he wanted to include me and spend time with him; I enjoyed getting to know more about his family and being introduced as

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Telling Your Story Might Help Others Heal

Telling Your Story Might Help Others Heal

Happy New Year!!! I believe there is going to be a great deal of changes this year; especially for women. I have been impressed with the courage and bravery it has taken for so many women to come forward and stand up for what needs to change by putting a spotlight on sexual harassment.  Speaking out and unearthing the long history of this dirty little secret allows others to come forward to tell their story!  Women no longer need to carry the shame and guilt about what happened in the past and begin to create new ways to empower themselves wherever they are!  To help women navigate being vulnerable I will be offering a new workshop starting Wednesday, February 21st based on Dr. Brené Brown’s new book called; “Braving the Wilderness.” In her book, Brené discusses the pain of loneliness and how anxiety

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Time Is a True Gift From the Heart!

Time Is a True Gift From the Heart!

If you told me five years ago I would be in Long Beach, California running a half marathon with my son while he ran the full 26 miles, I would have thought you created something out of a lifetime movie because it was not my reality at the time, that is for sure. But it DID JUST HAPPEN! A few months ago, my son; Paolo said he wanted to do something special with me around his 26th birthday in December. He mentioned running together, just us, alone, somewhere warm and to have a unique one on one experience together. To be honest, this last few months I have had more than a few sleepless nights wondering what a 58 year old woman like me, running in Long Beach going to look like? How was I NOT going to embarrass my son? And more

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Recommended Books and Reviews

Recommended Books and Reviews

The Emotional Edge: Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest by Crystal Andrus Morissette This fantastic book explains how to deal with your feelings (rather than run from them or numb them), manage your emotions, face your fears, heal your wounds, and expand your emotional edges in order to lead you BACK to the Real You!! This book explains basic psychology very clearly and empowers individuals to stop reacting in a “knee-jerk” way that hurts their relationships with others. Most of us were not taught to manage our emotions because it was something most of us feel isolated and ashamed about because of our lack of control. So many of us have suffered in silence and shame but not any longer!!   The truth is that the answers are right inside of you and the author explains how to

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The Joy of Giving

The Joy of Giving

What would you do if you knew it would make someone’s day? We all get caught up thinking what we do has to be perfect or if we just had a little more time we would get around to allowing ourselves to be creative and actually do something that inspires us and possibly others too!  There never seems to be enough TIME to do the things we want to do. I read a quote the other day that said, “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” WOW!! I think everyone should have this taped to their bathroom mirror; we NEED to create time to be creative!! If we keep our eyes and our hearts open, inspiration shows up in many unlikely places! Many of my clients, friends and family know I LOVE to collect heart rocks that I

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Daring Greatly at CBRE Women’s Network Regional Conference

Daring Greatly at CBRE Women’s Network Regional Conference

Hello Everyone!! The leaves are so beautiful right now and there is an autumn chill in the air; change is always happening! For many of us; change is difficult we like things to be predictable; yet the things that bring us joy usually come from something that happens spontaneously!  I have learned that you don’t have to be saddled for life with the mental attitudes you adopted from childhood. All of us are free to change our minds, and when we do this…. our experiences change too! I had a life changing experience recently by having the privilege to speak to the CBRE Women’s Network Regional Conference last week about Brené Brown’s book; “Daring Greatly”.  Throughout the day I had the opportunity to engage with a wonderful group of people who openly discussed how they felt about their lives, their careers and how they

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